Getting REAL about Getting Married

Today is Work it Out Wednesday, when we talk about relationships!!

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This post is for my single folks out there! Have you found yourself stuck in a dating rut? Thinking, wishing, and hoping this is “the one”, only to discover this is SO not it?  Well, maybe it is time to take a different approach.

How many times have you been told “marriage is work”? Well that is because it’s true..but the type of work it will be is up to you. It can either be the best, most rewarding and fulfilling work you ever do, or the hardest and most stressful.  It is all in how you prepare. So instead of approaching this dream “job” with all heart, it’s time to use our heads a little and take it step by step!

Step 1: Figure out who you are.

Personality profiles on new dating websites are a thing for a reason. You have to know yourself to love yourself…and all of that is supposed to happen BEFORE you try loving anyone else.  You may not have yourself all figured out just yet, but know your strengths and weaknesses.  Ask God to help you see the good bad and ugly in you that He’s head over heels in love with, so you can learn to love you too.  Soon you’ll find that you enjoy your own company.  Once you have that worked out, you’ll know not only what you want, but what you NEED in a mate that will maximize your qualities and balance out your faults.

Step 2: Decide what type of person your ideal spouse should be.

There are those who take whatever job they can just to pay bills, but live in misery 8 hours or more each work day for years. Then there are those who refuse to stop searching, learning and growing until they get their ideal job.  The same can be said of relationships…which person are you?  If you don’t have expectations and desires (within reason) regarding your future spouse, you’ll settle for anyone just to escape bankrupt loneliness. Remember, this ideal spouse should match with you, balancing your strengths and weaknesses.

Step 3: Network!
Any career counselor will tell you that the majority of jobs are filled by referrals…meaning most of the time getting jobs depends on who you know.  This can also apply to getting married! Forget the taboo of telling people about your desire for marriage.  How is it helping you to keep that a secret?? Tell the people you know and trust that this is something on your mind and in your prayers!  That doesn’t make you desperate, it makes you smart!!  Also, check your inner circle of friends.  Are there some HAPPILY married people in it? Spending time around folks who have what you want is one of the easiest ways to glean knowledge and insight on what your future life will be like, and how to get there.

Well, I have more steps but I’ll have to save those for another post when it’s not almost 1:30am! In the meantime, know that I’m praying for you to find peace and joy now while single, and to cross paths with your mate at the right time.

With Love, Janelle

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